Do you consider yourself someone who forms sentimental attachments to tangible items and don’t know why? Let me assure you this is entirely normal. We all assign emotional and sentimental value to things we buy, inherit and discover. Ever wonder how you become so attached to these physical items, or more so, how to detach from them? Let’s talk about that.
Is Attaching Sentimental Meaning To Stuff Normal?
It's entirely normal to have sentimental attachments about things in our life. People, in general, tend to love items that remind them of specific memories, or they become very fond of things over time, especially when it has sentimental value tied to loved ones that have passed. Below are some examples of the provenance of items we become emotionally attached to.
Items From Family Members
It's common to attach to items that are from your family or relate to your family members. These items may include childhood art projects, special holiday gifts and vacation keepsakes.
Items Representing Milestones
Items that represent significant moments like special birthdays, weddings, birth of a child, first pet and other major life events can transport us back to those special moments.
Items From Loved Ones That Have Passed
Most of us have little mementos that previously belonged to a loved family member or friend. Having things to touch and hold once we can no longer be near a loved one feels impactful and tangible. Having something that belonged to your grandfather or favorite aunt gives us the feeling that they are still a part of our lives. Sentimental items make us feel good, and it can be a way to connect with our past.
These items help ease the pain we may be feeling from difficult experiences like a breakup, the death of a loved one, or maybe even just something in your past that you don't want to remember.
You might also be holding on to sentimental items because they remind you of where you started and how far you've come. You own them as proof that the struggles were worth it, these objects help with these difficulties.
How Do You Compare to Others?
It can be very common to value sentimental items differently from family, friends and partners. In particular, differences among partners in relationships are common because everyone processes emotions in varied ways. It may be that you (or your partner) let go of things easily and your partner does not, putting you at odds in terms of what stays and what goes in your home. This isn't to say that you don’t care about the things, but it might be easier for you to recognize when possessions no longer bring joy or purpose. This can be a great thing when it comes to decluttering since you (or your partner) can offer an outside perspective and help us let go of things more easily.
How to Detach from Things
What anchors us to clutter? It is the feeling the item evokes for us. If you consider this, you will continue to have the feeling and memory long after the item is gone. This is an important first step when considering letting go of sentimental items that don’t serve the life you are living now.
Everyone attaches emotionally to stuff. There are ways to declutter your home even if you struggle to let go of stuff:
Step Back and Look at the Item Objectively
Be ruthlessly objective about the actual meaning of what the sentimental item holds for you. Push yourself to consider a different perspective and what ongoing meaning the item might have for you or whether it is time to let go of it.
If you have your grandmother’s coffee table but it doesn’t match your tastes, ask yourself what the real reason for keeping it is, when you will always hold the memory of imagining it in your grandmother’s home.
Use Family & Friends as a Sounding Board
Ask those closest to you to let you talk it out and get to the real reason you feel so attached to certain things. You may find you just want to feel connected to the benefactor of the item or the memories it stirs up for you when you see it. Discussing why the item means so much to you will help you better understand yourself and how you can let it go.
Snapshots & Stories
The easiest way to memorialize an item without keeping it is to take a picture of it. This is a win in a couple ways because you have an instant reminder of the item in the photo without the physical clutter of the item. In addition to the photo, document the history and the story behind the item to help you maintain the attachment as you let go of the thing. Having a photo and a story lets you feel unobligated.
Sell Or Donate and Give Your Treasures a Second Act
Another option to honor the item or person who gave it to you may be to sell, donate or share your sentimental items with others. Recognize that you optimized your enjoyment from the item and give your treasure a “second act”. You may be surprised to see how much joy it brings you to see someone else actively enjoying these sentimental items.
As I have previously said, decluttering and organizing is not one size fits all, so do what feels right for you and utilize all of these suggestions as they apply to your sentimental items and your lifestyle. Just remember that emotional attachment doesn’t have a guidebook, so simply follow your heart. You should never feel guilty about moving forward in your life, with or without the “stuff”.
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— SCG
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